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Gaia's Wasp: Sci-Fi too rough for nice mommies

Gaia's Wasp: Book 1

Dr. Insensitive Jerk

Luci Dark is the wife every mother wants for her son, almost. She is the product of a grand experiment. In a leap of faith, humans alter their brains, forcing their subconscious minds to recognize everyone as their own children.

It's a breakthrough, for now they love everyone instinctively, as a mother loves her son. It turns men into shining knights, and women into their adoring cheerleaders.

It also makes them easy targets, which is why they alter their brains a little further, for those special times when Mommy needs brutal violence.

Gaia's Wasp is a 750-page sci-fi novel with the print standards of a toddler's storybook. Packed with hi-res pictures, brutal prose, and lyrical verse, all printed on 120GSM coated art paper, this is literally the most beautiful sci-fi you will read this year, maybe ever.

Dandelion Slap: The most beautiful story ever published

Gaia's Wasp: Book 2

Dr. Insensitive Jerk

The greatest earthquake in European history struck on November 1, 1755 off the coast of Portugal, directly beneath the English colony ship Fertile Plow. The ship was crippled by a massive wave, slowly sinking, her 330 surviving colonists and crew doomed.

Then they met an unlikely rescuer.

266 years later, their descendants have returned to Earth, somewhat changed.

When I walk with you as a man
I feel every sorrow and sin
and tell you there might be a plan
but never reveal how it ends

This sequel to Gaia's Wasp tells two intertwined stories: the birth of Wyrm civilization, and its eventual clash with Earth. The two books may be read in either order.

Sainthood in Sixty Seconds: What God did when he ran out of time

Gaia's Wasp: Book 3

Dr. Insensitive Jerk

If God asks you to pull His finger, don't do it.

Joshua the Prophet was created by God himself, three hours ago, in a pod that resembled a porta-potty hurtling toward Earth. As he approached the humans at divine velocity, Joshua knew he was made for a mission, and it would be so cool to know what it was. God had refused to explain His Divine Plan, saying only that it would be more fun as a surprise.

Joshua suspected he'd been sent to save humanity from the aliens. They had finally made the momentous First Contact, which turned out to be a prank. Now the alien bastards had offered humanity a shortcut to Christian sainthood, Old-Testament style. If you accept their turbocharged grace, the aliens will transform you into the unholy offspring of Mother Theresa and Dirty Harry.

Sainthood in Sixty Seconds is the rudest faith-builder ever published, and its ending will punch you in the heart.

A Beast Cannot Feign: Sci-Fi your mother won't show you

Gaia's Wasp: Book 4

Dr. Insensitive Jerk

The most aggravating alien invasion ever

Half-aliens prowl the Earth, defying our laws, banging our women and laughing at our taxes. I mean really laughing. They think our taxes are hilarious, and how is a man supposed to perform with half-alien women giggling at his pay stub?

Of all the half-aliens, Luci Dark is widely regarded as the most annoying, so they chose her as their ambassador. Now she's shopping for a little patch of Earth to call, home, say, 10,000 square miles. Every right-thinking Human welcomes that idea like a fart at a wedding.

A half-alien colony would really need defending, so they've hired the very human Tom Pine to build robotic sentries, beneath Luci Dark's watchful eye. What could possibly go wrong?