Search Worlds Without End

A collection of humorous science fiction tales that follow the adventures of brave heroes and leaders who are still under the thumb of mom.

Table of Contents:

• 1 - From Your Mouth to God's Ear - novelette by Ellen Guon
• 24 - I Told You So - short story by Michael Scott
• 42 - You Never Call - short story by Robert Asprin
• 48 - A Mother's Lament - poem by Judith R. Conly
• 49 - Your Face Will Freeze Like That - short story by Morgan Llywelyn
• 63 - What's the Magic Word? - novelette by Jody Lynn Nye
• 86 - Don't Go Out in Holy Underwear - novelette by Elizabeth Ann Scarborough
• 111 - Would You? - short story by William R. Forstchen
• 120 - Just Wait Until You Have Children of Your Own - short story by Esther M. Friesner
• 139 - You'll Catch Your Death of Colds - short story by Bill Fawcett
• 152 - The Golden Years - short story by Anne McCaffrey
• 163 - Maureen Birnbaum Pokes an Eye Out - short story by George Alec Effinger
• 182 - Clean Up Your Room! - short story by Laura Anne Gilman
• 201 - Return with Your Spacesuit, Or On It - short story by Christopher Stasheff and Eleanore Stasheff
• 221 - Don't Go Near the Water - short story by Terri Beckett and Chris Power
• 237 - Mother Knows Best - short story by Josepha Sherman
• 248 - Accidents Don't Just Happen - They're Caused - novelette by Elizabeth Moon
• 270 - The Starving Children on Mars - short story by Mike Resnick and Louise Rowder
• 284 - Don't Put That in Your Mouth, You Don't Know Where It's Been - novelette by Diane Duane

On a concert tour in the United States, Irish singer Fionna Kenmare finds herself stalked by an unknown enemy that has followed her across the ocean, and only two unusual government agents--Liz Mayfield, special agent for the British Government Office of Occult & Paranormal Sightings Investigation, and FBI agent Beauray "Boo-Boo" Boudreau--can save her from invisible attackers.

Halfling Tildi Summerbee has led a typical, unexciting life, tending the house for her brothers while they manage the family farm. Her days are boring, but happy...until a Thraik attack decimates her family. In an effort to provide for Tildi, the town's leaders prepare an arranged marriage and take control of her farm's assets. After all, a female halfling is incapable of handling such matters on her own. Tildi sees things differently. In order to escape her arranged marriage and overcome the prejudices against the "weaker" sex, she decides to pass herself off as a man. Assuming the guise of her brother Teldo, Tildi disappears into the night. She plans to accept Teldo's position as an apprentice to a great wizard. But she soon finds that the rest of the world isn't very welcoming to halflings. And that she is surrounded by fantastic dangers. Dangers that are more than a match for a wizard's apprentice.

Halfling Tildi Summerbee led a typical, unexciting life, tending the house for her brothers while they managed the family farm...until she was forced to assume the identity of her recently deceased brother and accept his position as apprentice to a great wizard. Now she is on an important quest where the lessons of her apprenticeship pale in comparison to those learned in life-or-death situations. She has become the guardian of a very special book that can alter everything in existence. a race of centaurs gone with an editor's pen, a mountain range flattened with a revised rune, and life as Tildi has known it changed in the blink of an eye. Gone are her preconceptions of society and order. Gone are her trusting ways and belief in her superiors' honesty. But also gone is the shrinking violet smallfolk who masqueraded as a boy to secure an apprenticeship. Tildi has changed too, and she realizes that the fate of the world rests in her hands.

What happens when you get the one thing you wanted most in life? Lonely 16-year-old farm girl Barbara Winton has been following one reality show for years. Then in an instant she goes from fangirl to participant when the call comes from Dr. Keegan Bright: She's been selected out of a horde of applicants to join him on the Moon.

She'll be one of his Bright Sparks, six students with expertise in STEM and plenty of their own ingenuity chosen to work with Dr. Bright and given big responsibilities to undertake new projects important to the growth of the colony. Her first task? Build a radar telescope using an entire crater on the far side of the Moon.

But Barbara soon learns that life on a burgeoning frontier outpost like the Moon is a far cry from safe, civilized Earth. The loner from farm country must find a way to weld a functional team out of fiercely independent thinkers. Not only are they a bit trickier to work with than farm robots, not only is the working environment incredibly dangerous - she also has to perform this miracle in front of millions of fans.

Barbara Winton and the rest of the Bright Sparks, Dr. Keegan Bright's team of young scientists, find themselves facing a challenge that will test all of their scientific skills and personal courage. They are competing in the first ever race to completely circle the Moon. The Sparks, and twenty-five other teams, have to count on one another as they face thousands of kilometers of unknown dangers, where even a simple accident can have fatal consequences. They form close friendships with racers from all over Earth, but also have to deal with former Spark, Pam, a mysterious and threatening figure whose departure from the Sparks program is shrouded in mystery.

While the Sparks compete in the race, Dr. Bright himself is part of a groundbreaking project to seek out rare minerals underneath a crater. On the far side of the Moon, in the airless, frozen depths beneath the lunar surface, disaster strikes. On the thinly settled Moon only the Bright Sparks may be close enough help him. The young scientist find themselves not only racing for victory, but to save their beloved mentor.

RETURN TO DOONA...

More than twenty-five years ago, the first Humans had set foot on Doona and had found a beautiful, unspoiled planet ... but they had also found that they were not alone there.

Their early survey had completely ignored or missed the fact that the planet was already settled by the alien feline-like Hrrubans. The ensuing conflict led to the historic Decision at Doona--a social experiment in coexistence between two races, one that had succeeded for a quarter of a century.

Now, that contract between the Humans and the Hrrubans has run out and is up for renewal. Everything that the partners have worked for--the peaceful future of their dreams, the delicate cross-species alliance itself--is at peril and at stake, and could ultimately be lost forever.

FOR THE GOOD OF THE PLANET? OR THE DESTRUCTION OF AN ALLIANCE?

Several years after resolving a crisis of treachery on Doona, the Humans and Hrrubans encounter a new threat to their peaceful coexistence...

The Gringgs are not the first alien visitors to Doona, but they are the first to offer friendship--and a proposal to partake in a trade agreement being drawn up by Doona's leaders. Some are willing to trust the Gringgs; others question their true motives... and a battle of diplomatic unrest ensues.

With Doona's military forces at the ready, the planet once again falls under the dark shadow of uncertainty--and the threat of self-destruction...

Ostracized as the only unchanging, "normal" person in Dreamland, a place where people go when they sleep and constantly change into other things, Roan must prevent an evil force from destroying the Seven Sleepers.

A novel of dreams and images, reality and illusion. Juele is the youngest and most promising new student at the legendary School of Light, where she will learn how to master illusion. She has a crucial role in her mentor's project to surround the Castle of Dreams with an image of perfection.

Troubled by unhappiness, Chuck Meadows mounts a dangerous journey into his own unconscious to discover the deepest secrets of his soul.

As head dragon and owner of a successful gambling operation in New Orleans, Griffen McCandles has a lot on his plate. Especially since the Krewe of Fafnir--a society of dragons--has asked him to be the king of its Mardi Gras parade. Being the king is a huge honor, and despite the extra responsibilities, Griffen can't resist the krewe's offer to lead the biggest party of the year.

Griffen already has his hands full running his gambling operation in New Orleans and dealing with his dragon heritage. Now his pregnant sister, Valerie, is missing--possibly kidnapped--and his uncle, Malcolm McCandles, has flown into town for a mysterious meeting with a powerful man who's been dead for almost eight decades.

And Griffen certainly hasn't got the time to protect Councilwoman Penny Dunbar, a dragon who's running for governor of Louisiana--if malign forces don't take her out first. Griffen learned a long time ago to play the hand fate has dealt him, but with many lives at stake--including Val's unborn dragon--he's hoping for an ace in the hole...

There are no tales like... Myth-Told Tales

It's a nightmare when master magician Skeeve and Aahz the Pervect fall into Dreamland...

Massha gets married with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blew...up.

Bunny turns to Skeeve for help when an inter-dimensional beauty contest turns ugly.

Reality shows were never quite like this. Eligible bachelors vie to win Princess Gloriannamarjolie's hand-if not her heart...

Join Skeeve, Aahz, Massha, Tananda, Bunny, Gleep, the Fairy Godfather, and random myth-ical creatures in eight stories that span the manic MYTH universe. Robert Asprin and Jody Lynn Nye have compiled their favorite tales-and concocted some new ones-for this hilarious collection of myth-adventures...

When the sheepish Wuhses are taken advantage of by the overbearing Pervects, Skeeve teams up with Zol Icty--self-help expert and bestselling author of Imps Are from Imper, Deveels Are from Deva--on a mythion in personal empowerment.

Aahz gets an unwelcome visit from two blue-skinned bruisers and a small magician wanting Skeeve to cough up the dough for an extremely large bill that he skipped out on. Knowing that Skeeve has many faults, but welshing on a debt is not one of them, he enlists the aid of Chumley and Massha to go with him to the last place any self respecting Pervert would ever visit... the mall!

Once there, they discover that the mall rats have created a scheme to steal customers' credit cards. Realizing that Skeeve is a victim of identity theft they set our to set matters right and to clear their friend's name...

After years as a court magician and inter-dimensional hero, Skeeve needed a rest. So he took some time off to study magic and relax. When a few months later several members of the M.Y.T.H. Inc. Team each ask him to train some talented, young magicians in "practical magic" he has to agree. But after the assassins attack and a manticore tries to eat them, the Khlad mage soon discovers that there is more going on than learning. His students are preparing for a very deadly magical game and you won't believe where. Worse yet, the game may be fixed, and the only way to save his students lives is for Skeeve to risk his own.

Aahz discovers that the shabby-looking sword he bought at a flea market in a remote dimension is Ersatz, leader of the Golden Hoard, a fabled collection of powerful magical treasures that can turn any ordinary being into a hero. They go in search of the other members of the Hoard, only to find that they're not the only ones looking. A dancer named Calypsa, working with Aahz's old friend Tananda, is seeking to collect them to free her grandfather from the dreaded wizard Barrik. Trouble is, everyone wants the treasures for themselves, and there are good reasons why the Golden Hoard is never all in the same dimension at one time.

Skeeve has decided, at long last, to come out of his self-imposed retirement and get back into the problem-solving biz. He confidently expected walk in and take his rightful place as the head of M.Y.T.H., Inc. He didn't expect to have to face off against Aahz for the job. With their friends lending help but showing no favorites, they start a not-so-friendly contest to see who will run the company by taking opposite sides of the next case to walk in the door. Will the legendary partnership survive the battle, or will this be the end of a beautiful friendship?

Aahz falls for a literal pyramid scheme, selling it stone by stone as a burial site, while claiming the coveted pointed stone top for himself. But Skeeve wants to be know why the construction site is having so many accidents-before both he and Aahz end up in the afterlife before their time...

A CAMPAIGN OF MYTH-INFORMATION

Since it was founded, M.Y.T.H. Inc. has dealt with all manner of vile and evil creatures. But not even a magician of Skeeve's caliber is prepared to face the most duplicitous monsters of all: politicians. Emo Weavil and his cousin Wilmer Weavil-Scuttil have been running for governor of the island of Bokromi--for five years. Their magickal mudslinging (literal and otherwise) strategies continue to postpone the election leaving the realm in a state of leaderless chaos.

Hired to moderate a fair and balanced race between the candidates, Skeeve and Bunny attempt to clean up the dirty politics, only to become targets of the tabloids and paparazzi, who are more interested in innuendo than the facts...

Business is slow for M.Y.T.H., Inc., and its president, Bunny, is getting nervous that the company might not meet its quarterly goal. So when a job comes in that's worth an absurd amount of gold--and also happens to take them to Winslow, the most luxurious vacation resort in any dimension--the team jumps at the opportunity to recoup some cash and maybe catch some R&R.

Only, magician Skeeve has an unsettling feeling that this mission might be trickier than it seems. Someone in Winslow is messing with the magic lines and working hard to ensure that the M.Y.T.H. crew gets nowhere near the powerful relic that they've been hired to find. And as the mysterious manipulation turns deadly, Skeeve, Bunny, Aahz, and the rest of their partners find themselves in a race not only to finish the job but also to escape paradise alive...

Volume two in the "Planet Pirates" series.

Like every other citizen of the Federation of Sentient Planets, Lunzie Mespil believed that no harm would come to her, but when the planet pirates attack the space liner on which she is a passenger, she might have to suffer more than just inconvenience.

Dr. Shona Taylor, a specialist in environmental medicine, discovers that a mysterious epidemic is killing the entire population of colony worlds. With the help of her special menagerie, including a cat that can detect environmental hazards, a dog whose system can synthesize vaccines, and an intelligent alien named Chirwl, Shona is determined to stop the epidemic in its tracks, but the people causing the epidemic have set her up to take the blame, spreading the rumor that she is an Angel of Death. Can she find a cure before the disease kills again and puts her and her menagerie in danger? Exciting... enjoyable space adventure... Taylor's Ark is fun and well-crafted, with a heroine you'll enjoy rooting for!--Aboriginal SF

It's the most unusual medical unit in the galaxy--and it makes house calls. A fully equipped starship lab, Taylor's Ark is run by Dr. Shona Taylor, a specialist in environmental medicine. She has a menagerie of very special assistants, including an Abyssinian cat, a dog, rabbits, mice, and an alien ottle named Chirwl. Now, this highly trained crew faces the ultimate medical mystery. On Chirwl's home world, humans and ottles alike are aging at an alarming rate. And if Dr. Taylor doesn't find a fast cure, the entire colony will die... of old age.

Dr. Shona Taylor takes on a new assignment, and discovers a chilling reality behind a picture perfect planet...

What price for paradise?

Jardindor is, by most estimates, a new Eden: from the number of trees to the exact spacing of every lamppost and garden, the alien planet is perfection, a totally controlled terraformed world on the outreaches of colonized space. When Dr. Shona Taylor receives her posting as physician to the settlers on Jardindor, she packs up her family--children and medical menagerie, as well as Chirwl, the alien ottle--expecting a very serene six months.

But the people of Jardindor are guarding more than their perfect world. They're hiding a dark secret, and as Shona learns more about her new hosts and their strange fascination with animals, her new job turns into a nightmare.

Like Helva, the Ship Who Sang (and Nancia from PartnerShip and Tia from The Ship Who Searched), Carialle was born so physically disadvantaged that her only chance for life was as a shellperson. And like those others, Carialle decided she would strap on a spaceship. Now she is on a mission to search the galaxy for intelligent beings.

Carialle and Keff were the ones who had discovered intelligent life on the planet Ozran. Now she and Keff are serving as couriers for the "globe-frogs", to return them from whence they came. And now all the evidence is indicating that the dirty rats who caused Carialle such pain in the first place may be the very globe-frogs with whom she and Keff have just become friends.

Pop goddess Selane has made some bad choices in her life on her road to success. All of her past connections have dropped her and she's desperately trying to get them (and her reputation) back.

While running a charity telethon for a debilitating children's disease, Selane discovers a remarkable girl during a broadcast - a real genie - and suddenly the solution to all of her problems is standing right in front of her.

But finding a genie is one thing...making wishes that count, is something else--particularly when the genie is a clueless teenager from California.

Maybe Ray, a fairy godmother, and the local 26-3 chapter of The Fairy Godmothers' Union can help.

In the world of speculative fiction... Your favorite authors... Have selected the best new voices of the year. 24 Award-winning Authors and Illustrators

3 Bonus Short Stories by Kevin J. Anderson, L. Ron Hubbard, and S. M. Stirling

Art and Writing Tips by Lazarus Chernik, L. Ron Hubbard, and Kristine Kathryn Rusch

Edited by Dean Wesley Smith and Jody Lynn Nye

16-page color gallery of artwork and Cover art by Tom Wood

Check out the stories Brandon Sanderson, Orson Scott Card, Nnedi Okorafor, Robert J. Sawyer, Kevin J. Anderson, Jody Lynn Nye and others chose as the best of the best.

Be amazed. Be amused. Be transported ... by stories that take you by surprise and take you further and deeper into new worlds and new ideas than you've ever gone before....

Twelve captivating tales from the most exciting new voices in science fiction and fantasy accompanied by three from masters of the genre.

• A miracle? An omen? Or something else? One day, they arrived in droves -- the foxes of the desert, the field, the imagination.... -- "Kitsune" by Devon Bohm
• When a vampire, a dragon and a shape-shifting Chihuahua meet on a beach in Key West, fireworks go off! But that's just the background. -- "Moonlight and Funk" by Marianne Xenos
• Dan Shamble, Zombie P.I., faces one of his funniest and most perplexing cases ever -- an enlightened ogre, a salamander with low self-esteem, and a raging fire dragon terrorizing the Unnatural Quarter! -- "Fire in the Hole" by Kevin J. Anderson
• The Grim Reaper, trapped in an IRS agent's dying body, must regain his powers before he dies and faces judgment for his original sin. -- "Death and the Taxman" by David Hankins
• In a metaverse future, a woman who exposes falseness in others must decide what is real to her -- the love she lost or the love she may have found. -- "Under My Cypresses" by Jason Palmatier
• Vic Harden wasn't lured by glory on a daring mission into the reaches of outer space -- he was ordered out there by his editor. -- "The Unwilling Hero" by L. Ron Hubbard
• Dangerous opportunities present themselves when an alien ship arrives in the solar system seeking repairs. -- "White Elephant" by David K. Henrickson
• With her spaceship at the wrong end of a pirate's guns, a former war hero must face down her enemies and demons to save Earth's last best chance for peace. -- "Piracy for Beginners" by J. R. Johnson
• Years after the Second Holocaust, the last surviving Jews on earth attempt to rewrite the past. -- "A Trickle in History" by Elaine Midcoh
• When I said I'd do anything to pay off my debts and get back home to Earth, I didn't mean survey a derelict spaceship at the edge of the solar system -- but here I am. -- "The Withering Sky" by Arthur H. Manner
• High-powered telescopes bring galactic life to our TVs, and network tuner Hank Enos figures he's seen everything -- until the day an alien boy stares back. -- "The Fall of Crodendra M." by T. J. Knight
• Knights, damsels and dragons, curses and fates foretold -- the stuff of legends and stories, but unexpectedly perverse. -- "Constant Never" by S. M. Stirling
• Determined to save his wife, Tumelo takes an unlikely client through South Africa's ruins to the heart of the Desolation -- a journey that will cost or save everything. -- "The Children of Desolation" by Spencer Sekulin
• When a terrorist smuggles a nuclear weapon into London, a team regresses in time to AD 1093 to assassinate a knight on the battlefield, thereby eliminating the terrorist a millennia before his birth. -- "Timelines and Bloodlines" by L. H. Davis
• The Grand Exam, a gateway to power for one, likely death for all others -- its entrants include ambitious nobles, desperate peasants, and Quiet Gate, an old woman with nothing left to lose. -- "The Last History" by Samuel Parr

You will love this collection of the best new voices because, as Locus magazine puts it, "Excellent writing...extremely varied. There's a lot of hot new talent."

Get it now.

Spine-tingling
Breathtaking
Mind-blowing

Experience these powerful new voices--vivid, visceral, and visionary--as they explore uncharted worlds and reveal unlimited possibilities.

Open the Writers of the Future and be carried away by stories--and illustrations--that will make you think, make you laugh, and make you see the world in ways you never imagined.

Twelve captivating tales from the best new writers of the year as selected by Writers of the Future Contest judges accompanied by three more from L. Ron Hubbard, Nancy Kress, S.M. Stirling. Each is accompanied by a full-color illustration.

Plus Bonus Art and Writing Tips from Gregory Benford, Bob Eggleton, L. Ron Hubbard, Dean Wesley Smith

"When her owner goes missing, a digital housecat must become more than simulation to find her dearest companion through the virtual world.--"The Edge of Where My Light Is Cast" by Sky McKinnon, art by Carina Zhang

No one came to his brother's funeral. Not even the spirits. Étienne knew it was his fault.--"Son, Spirit, Snake" by Jack Nash, art by Pedro N.

Man overboard is a nightmare scenario for any sailor, but Lieutenant Susan Guidry is also running out of air--and the nearest help is light years away.--"Nonzero" by Tom Vandermolen, art by Jennifer Mellen

Mac wanted to invent a cocktail to burn itself upon the pages of history--but this one had some unexpected side effects.--"The Last Drop" by L. Ron Hubbard and L. Sprague de Camp, art by Chris Arias

Dementia has landed Dan Kennedy in Graydon Manor, and what's left of his life ahead seems dismal, but a pair of impossible visitors bring unexpected hope.--"The Imagalisk" by Galen Westlake, art by Arthur Haywood

When a teenage swamp witch fears her mama will be killed, she utilizes her wits and the magic of the bayou--no matter the cost to her own soul.--"Life and Death and Love in the Bayou" by Stephannie Tallent, art by Ashley Cassaday

Our exodus family awoke on the new world--a paradise inexplicably teeming with Earth life, the Promise fulfilled. But 154 of us are missing....--"Five Days Until Sunset" by Lance Robinson, art by Steve Bentley

Spirits were supposed to lurk beneath the Lake of Death, hungry and patient and hostile to all life.--"Shaman Dreams" by S.M. Stirling, art by Dan dos Santos

A new app lets users see through the eyes of any human in history, but it's not long before the secrets of the past catch up with the present.--"The Wall Isn't a Circle" by Rosalyn Robilliard, art by Guelly Rivera

In the shadows of Teddy Roosevelt's wendigo hunt, a Native American boy resolves to turn the tables on his captors, setting his sights on the ultimate prey--America's Great Chief.--"Da-ko-ta" by Amir Agoora, art by Connor Chamberlain

When squids from outer space take over, a punk-rock P.I. must crawl out of her own miserable existence to find her client's daughter--and maybe a way out.--"Squiddy" by John Eric Schleicher, art by Tyler Vail

Another outbreak? This time it's a virus with an eighty percent infection rate that affects personality changes... permanently.--"Halo" by Nancy Kress, art by Lucas Durham

Planet K2-18b is almost dead, humanity is enslaved, and it's Rickard's fault. Now in his twilight years, he'd give an arm and a leg for redemption. Literally.--"Ashes to Ashes, Blood to Carbonfiber" by James Davies, art by May Zheng

What if magic could undo the unthinkable, and undo Death itself? Would you use it no matter the cost? What would you sacrifice for love?--"Summer of Thirty Years" by Lisa Silverthorne, art by Gigi Hooper

Joe is a prospector tasked with exploring the cosmos on behalf of an all-powerful government. Breadna is a toaster. There have been weirder love stories, but that's unlikely.--"Butter Side Down" by Kal M, art by Selena Meraki

24 Award-winning Authors and Illustrators

16-page color gallery of artwork